Dancing With the Stars, March 24 & 25
A note to readers: if you watch Dancing With The Stars, I hope my regular commentary throughout the competition enhances your viewing experience. If you would rather listen to yet another expert’s attempts to explain in lay terms the conditions of J.P. Morgan’s purchase of Bear Sterns, well, bookmark the Wall Street Journal on your web browser and come back here in a few months. I may have other things to say before the end of the competition, but you’ll have to sift through my notes on my favorite show of the moment.
I wrote this as I watched, so think of it more as a running commentary than a cohesive summary. Some of it is in the past tense and some in the present tense. I know that, and it bothers me too, but I need to post this before the next show comes on tonight, so put away that red pencil and suck it up.
In waiting a week to write about the show last time, I made a big boo-boo and forgot to mention my favorite competitor: Marlee Matlin. She has long been a beloved actress in my book; doing more than justice to Aaron Sorkin’s terrific scripts as a regular guest on The West Wing. It turns out the woman can MOVE, and she is even hotter on “Dancing” than she was as Joey Lucas.
Here’s my take on Monday night’s show:
Steve, again, looked like he was having a great time, though his steps were not very fluid. The mambo seemed a bit slowed down for his skill level, but what he lacks in grace, he really makes up for in likeability. He would be unbearably cheesy if he weren’t so sincere about believing that the show really does make the world a better place.
The judges were a bit harsh on him, I thought. Really, a 16? To bad his partner Anna is so annoying. Her protestations to the judges are less than charming.
Cristian can move his hips, but not as skilled as Mario. I do think he and Mario are head and shoulders above the other the men. He was clearly not as comfortable in this ballroom dance as heddd was with the Latin dance. His footwork seemed imprecise, but his posture was definitely better. But then, maybe he was a bit distracted by Cheryl’s missing one side of her skirt. This seems to be a common problem on the show---the women’s seamstress’s work really hard on a costume at first, but they start to get bored with it, knock back a few G and T’s and decide they don’t need that last seam or that extra yard of fabric. Their score of 20 seems fair, maybe more than fair.
Oh, Monica. I want to like you more than I do. You seem so dull, and your dancing is pretty bad. I do like Jonathan quite a bit, thought. Monica’s sort of the opposite of a natural showperson. She is really trying with those shimmies, but it’s just not working.
I don’t know if she really deserved a 15, the absolute lowest score. I don’t think that even the humorously horrible Wayne Newton got a 15. (Do I err? Correct me.) At any rate, it’s all a little unfair. I think it’s a lot easier for the male competitors to fake it than for the women. It stuck out like a sore thumb last week when Marisa part didn’t have much real substance, and I think it’s easier for the men to get away with letting the professional ladies dance around them.
I do like Jonathan quite a bit. He’s a sweetie. I hope he has himself a nice boy or girl to dance with at home.
Here’s Penn, illustrating what I just wrote during the commercial break about Monica. His partner’s just dancing around him, and he’s faking it pretty well. Here come the comments. Wow, he didn’t seem to have as much of a sense of humor as he did last week about taking the criticism. He seemed defensively fake-funny, rather than self-deprecating. NO WAY! He does not deserve two points more than Monica Seles. Q.E.D.
Will Priscilla’s impressive work in the ballroom dance cross over to the Latin round?
(watching)
I’m going to go with “No” on that one. I’m still awfully fond of her, but I thought it really showed that she did not have the sharp leg movements she needed. It needed to be a little looser. Her partner, objectively young and handsome, has got this lecherous old man look on his face that I find frankly creepy.
Shannon: I thought she was wonderful—there were moments when you could not tell who was the professional. She made a few mistakes, as I could see, but she was pretty great. I like her more than I want to, kind of like the opposite of Monica Seles. I am, however, already over the backstory on the whole “self-pity of the genetically gifted.” It wasn’t cute on Jennie Garth, and it isn’t cute on her. I’m really not sympathizing with your lack of self-esteem. Won’t I make a good therapist?
Um, who the hell are the Jonas brothers? They keep saying they’ll be on the show, dropping their name like I’m supposed to know them. Sorry, but I’m way more excited to see Kylie Minogue next week. She is the energizer bunny of the 80’s crossover pop stars. (Not Madonna, no).
Jason and Edyta came on, and I got so excited that Edyta was wearing a skirt! A whole one! Then she turned around. More like a bikini with a tail. And sleeves, sort of. I get it. She’s hot. Now put a muumuu on her, ‘cause I’m over that too.
Once again, I think he faked it a little and let Edyta dance around her. If they give him the same score as Shannon Elizabeth, I think I might be pissed, because he just did not dance as well. 27! (bold=outrage) That’s what Kristi got last week, and I cannot say he danced as well as she did.
Marisa, Cheer up girlfriend! She needs to dance with someone like Jonathan. She deserves a better partner than Tony; I really think he kind of stinks. Oh well. He did give her more to do this week, and I thought she handled it pretty well. She still seems like she just can’t quite get the precision. It’s like she can’t reign in her hyperactivity. I think I want her to be more like Sabrina than she really is. 21 is a fair score for her.
Adam Reminds me of that guy we all know, the one who insists he can’t dance, then gets really drunk at a family wedding and proves his point. He really can’t dance. But he is kinda funny. Did they think if Julianne was naked and streaked her temples with a highlighter we wouldn't noticehis lack of talent? That we’d be so distracted wondering if her non-skirt would give us more information about her personal hygiene than we’d care to know and wouldn’t notice that he’s just really, really bad? 17 is generous.
Whoa, did he really call Carrie Ann a bitch last week?* He can suck it (oops, did I just lose my PG rating?). Now she has to give him a 6 instead of a 5, otherwise he would be justified. Frankly, a 5 last week was too generous, and so is a 6 this week.
Here’s my new plan. I should go on dancing with the stars. I would kick ass! At least, I do in my imagination!
Marlee: WOWOWOW. She is phenomenal. Her footwork seemed fantastic to this amateur judge. All the criticisms were choices her pro partner made—they’re not her fault! 24 seemed like a very fair score.
Kristi did a great routine. Very complicated steps, but I still think she’s got a little work to do. Last season’s best contestants, Mel B and Sabrina, and even sometimes Helio, would be hard to differentiate from the professionals. Kristi is not there yet.
Mario was pretty good, I think not quite as fun to watch as last week but a little more accurate on his footwork from my perspective. He is pretty charming and is taking things well. I didn’t think he was cute until he started dancing. Then he got pretty darn cute. 26! Not bad. I’m not quite sure he deserved such a high score, but, who knows.
Here’s how I’m voting tonight:
Steve 3
Priscilla 1
Shannon 2
Marisa 3
Marlee 3
* He did, in fact, mouth the word "bitch" when she gave him his score last week. I watched the clip again online. What a creep
Tuesday March 25, 2008
Yay! Steve has been saved.
Last night I had never heard of the Jonas Brothers. Now I just wish I had never heard them. Oh good gracious, they are terrible. They did their darndest to ruin an 80’s classic with an off-tempo off-key version. (I love this song. I love the video, and I once did a dance to it as a cheerleader—yes, you read that right, you wanna make somethin’ of it?) So they can’t sing, they can’t play instruments, they seem unattractive to me (though I suppose that’s okay, since I’m an old married lady and they can’t even drive, so it would be kind icky if I thought they were cute.) I think I’m drifting off into doddering old lady land, talking about these young hoodlums with crazy clothes that don’t even fit properly, making music that just sounds like noise.
I really can’t stand watching this whole hour. I could do without all the fluff, I have to say, and the drawing out of the elimination, but I guess that’s par for the course on any competitive reality show.
I’m sorry Penn was voted off, because he really is pretty funny, and a lot less of a sore loser than Adam Carolla. Maybe I’ve just pent up all this anger against Adam Carolla for all the jerky sexist stuff he’s been doing since I remember him existing.
This big fancy Macy’s dance, I thought that was going to be the contestants working with a pro choreographer. It kinda ruins the vibe of the show to see a bunch of professionals dancing around and hanging from the ceiling, especially not to a Meatloaf song that I had the good sense to hate the first time around, at age 11. They did some amazing stuff, sure, and I would love to go see Cirque de Soleil sometime, but this is just not what I watch the show for. I watch it because it makes me want to dance, and this kind of thing gives me no desire to get out on the floor and get hung from a wire cage by my toenails.
Then the Jonas Brothers came back on, I definitely heard (and saw) high-pitched screaming from women who were well into puberty when these boys were born. I mean, I understand having a thing for a college age cutie like Zac Efron, (not that I do, or anything, nothing like that, oh no) but these guys can’t sing, can’t play, and apparently can’t write, either. Who is buying this music and making it go platinum? They’re like Hanson minus the catchy.
Shannon is winning me over bit by bit. I have to admit it. Derek thinks he’s gonna hit that. Derek, you’re cute, but in a best-friend’s-off-limits-little-brother kind of way. Honey, I don’t think it’s happening. Go find some college girls.
Finally, the results: Monica was a no-brainer. I would have rather seen Adam leave the show than Penn, but hopefully Adam will get voted off next week.
I wrote this as I watched, so think of it more as a running commentary than a cohesive summary. Some of it is in the past tense and some in the present tense. I know that, and it bothers me too, but I need to post this before the next show comes on tonight, so put away that red pencil and suck it up.
In waiting a week to write about the show last time, I made a big boo-boo and forgot to mention my favorite competitor: Marlee Matlin. She has long been a beloved actress in my book; doing more than justice to Aaron Sorkin’s terrific scripts as a regular guest on The West Wing. It turns out the woman can MOVE, and she is even hotter on “Dancing” than she was as Joey Lucas.
Here’s my take on Monday night’s show:
Steve, again, looked like he was having a great time, though his steps were not very fluid. The mambo seemed a bit slowed down for his skill level, but what he lacks in grace, he really makes up for in likeability. He would be unbearably cheesy if he weren’t so sincere about believing that the show really does make the world a better place.
The judges were a bit harsh on him, I thought. Really, a 16? To bad his partner Anna is so annoying. Her protestations to the judges are less than charming.
Cristian can move his hips, but not as skilled as Mario. I do think he and Mario are head and shoulders above the other the men. He was clearly not as comfortable in this ballroom dance as heddd was with the Latin dance. His footwork seemed imprecise, but his posture was definitely better. But then, maybe he was a bit distracted by Cheryl’s missing one side of her skirt. This seems to be a common problem on the show---the women’s seamstress’s work really hard on a costume at first, but they start to get bored with it, knock back a few G and T’s and decide they don’t need that last seam or that extra yard of fabric. Their score of 20 seems fair, maybe more than fair.
Oh, Monica. I want to like you more than I do. You seem so dull, and your dancing is pretty bad. I do like Jonathan quite a bit, thought. Monica’s sort of the opposite of a natural showperson. She is really trying with those shimmies, but it’s just not working.
I don’t know if she really deserved a 15, the absolute lowest score. I don’t think that even the humorously horrible Wayne Newton got a 15. (Do I err? Correct me.) At any rate, it’s all a little unfair. I think it’s a lot easier for the male competitors to fake it than for the women. It stuck out like a sore thumb last week when Marisa part didn’t have much real substance, and I think it’s easier for the men to get away with letting the professional ladies dance around them.
I do like Jonathan quite a bit. He’s a sweetie. I hope he has himself a nice boy or girl to dance with at home.
Here’s Penn, illustrating what I just wrote during the commercial break about Monica. His partner’s just dancing around him, and he’s faking it pretty well. Here come the comments. Wow, he didn’t seem to have as much of a sense of humor as he did last week about taking the criticism. He seemed defensively fake-funny, rather than self-deprecating. NO WAY! He does not deserve two points more than Monica Seles. Q.E.D.
Will Priscilla’s impressive work in the ballroom dance cross over to the Latin round?
(watching)
I’m going to go with “No” on that one. I’m still awfully fond of her, but I thought it really showed that she did not have the sharp leg movements she needed. It needed to be a little looser. Her partner, objectively young and handsome, has got this lecherous old man look on his face that I find frankly creepy.
Shannon: I thought she was wonderful—there were moments when you could not tell who was the professional. She made a few mistakes, as I could see, but she was pretty great. I like her more than I want to, kind of like the opposite of Monica Seles. I am, however, already over the backstory on the whole “self-pity of the genetically gifted.” It wasn’t cute on Jennie Garth, and it isn’t cute on her. I’m really not sympathizing with your lack of self-esteem. Won’t I make a good therapist?
Um, who the hell are the Jonas brothers? They keep saying they’ll be on the show, dropping their name like I’m supposed to know them. Sorry, but I’m way more excited to see Kylie Minogue next week. She is the energizer bunny of the 80’s crossover pop stars. (Not Madonna, no).
Jason and Edyta came on, and I got so excited that Edyta was wearing a skirt! A whole one! Then she turned around. More like a bikini with a tail. And sleeves, sort of. I get it. She’s hot. Now put a muumuu on her, ‘cause I’m over that too.
Once again, I think he faked it a little and let Edyta dance around her. If they give him the same score as Shannon Elizabeth, I think I might be pissed, because he just did not dance as well. 27! (bold=outrage) That’s what Kristi got last week, and I cannot say he danced as well as she did.
Marisa, Cheer up girlfriend! She needs to dance with someone like Jonathan. She deserves a better partner than Tony; I really think he kind of stinks. Oh well. He did give her more to do this week, and I thought she handled it pretty well. She still seems like she just can’t quite get the precision. It’s like she can’t reign in her hyperactivity. I think I want her to be more like Sabrina than she really is. 21 is a fair score for her.
Adam Reminds me of that guy we all know, the one who insists he can’t dance, then gets really drunk at a family wedding and proves his point. He really can’t dance. But he is kinda funny. Did they think if Julianne was naked and streaked her temples with a highlighter we wouldn't noticehis lack of talent? That we’d be so distracted wondering if her non-skirt would give us more information about her personal hygiene than we’d care to know and wouldn’t notice that he’s just really, really bad? 17 is generous.
Whoa, did he really call Carrie Ann a bitch last week?* He can suck it (oops, did I just lose my PG rating?). Now she has to give him a 6 instead of a 5, otherwise he would be justified. Frankly, a 5 last week was too generous, and so is a 6 this week.
Here’s my new plan. I should go on dancing with the stars. I would kick ass! At least, I do in my imagination!
Marlee: WOWOWOW. She is phenomenal. Her footwork seemed fantastic to this amateur judge. All the criticisms were choices her pro partner made—they’re not her fault! 24 seemed like a very fair score.
Kristi did a great routine. Very complicated steps, but I still think she’s got a little work to do. Last season’s best contestants, Mel B and Sabrina, and even sometimes Helio, would be hard to differentiate from the professionals. Kristi is not there yet.
Mario was pretty good, I think not quite as fun to watch as last week but a little more accurate on his footwork from my perspective. He is pretty charming and is taking things well. I didn’t think he was cute until he started dancing. Then he got pretty darn cute. 26! Not bad. I’m not quite sure he deserved such a high score, but, who knows.
Here’s how I’m voting tonight:
Steve 3
Priscilla 1
Shannon 2
Marisa 3
Marlee 3
* He did, in fact, mouth the word "bitch" when she gave him his score last week. I watched the clip again online. What a creep
Tuesday March 25, 2008
Yay! Steve has been saved.
Last night I had never heard of the Jonas Brothers. Now I just wish I had never heard them. Oh good gracious, they are terrible. They did their darndest to ruin an 80’s classic with an off-tempo off-key version. (I love this song. I love the video, and I once did a dance to it as a cheerleader—yes, you read that right, you wanna make somethin’ of it?) So they can’t sing, they can’t play instruments, they seem unattractive to me (though I suppose that’s okay, since I’m an old married lady and they can’t even drive, so it would be kind icky if I thought they were cute.) I think I’m drifting off into doddering old lady land, talking about these young hoodlums with crazy clothes that don’t even fit properly, making music that just sounds like noise.
I really can’t stand watching this whole hour. I could do without all the fluff, I have to say, and the drawing out of the elimination, but I guess that’s par for the course on any competitive reality show.
I’m sorry Penn was voted off, because he really is pretty funny, and a lot less of a sore loser than Adam Carolla. Maybe I’ve just pent up all this anger against Adam Carolla for all the jerky sexist stuff he’s been doing since I remember him existing.
This big fancy Macy’s dance, I thought that was going to be the contestants working with a pro choreographer. It kinda ruins the vibe of the show to see a bunch of professionals dancing around and hanging from the ceiling, especially not to a Meatloaf song that I had the good sense to hate the first time around, at age 11. They did some amazing stuff, sure, and I would love to go see Cirque de Soleil sometime, but this is just not what I watch the show for. I watch it because it makes me want to dance, and this kind of thing gives me no desire to get out on the floor and get hung from a wire cage by my toenails.
Then the Jonas Brothers came back on, I definitely heard (and saw) high-pitched screaming from women who were well into puberty when these boys were born. I mean, I understand having a thing for a college age cutie like Zac Efron, (not that I do, or anything, nothing like that, oh no) but these guys can’t sing, can’t play, and apparently can’t write, either. Who is buying this music and making it go platinum? They’re like Hanson minus the catchy.
Shannon is winning me over bit by bit. I have to admit it. Derek thinks he’s gonna hit that. Derek, you’re cute, but in a best-friend’s-off-limits-little-brother kind of way. Honey, I don’t think it’s happening. Go find some college girls.
Finally, the results: Monica was a no-brainer. I would have rather seen Adam leave the show than Penn, but hopefully Adam will get voted off next week.
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