Better than Puppycam, While Probably Not as Good as Dr. Horrible

I have a new brilliant money-making scheme, based on the idea that someone should be getting something out of the excessive awkwardness that plagues us in the last months of pregnancy.

It’s a series of brief tv episodes (or webisodes, whatever) about our new superhero: Super-Cute-but-Awkward-Hugely-Pregnant Woman (still working on a shorter hero name, or at least one that makes for a better acronym). Although she is all-powerful because she is, you know, creating a life inside her body, certain mundane tasks pose significant difficulty or simply elude her completely. There’s a running existential subplot about the cruelty and inevitability of the laws of physics.

Episodes include:

1) Pregnant woman tries to tie her sneakers.

2) Pregnant woman swims the backstroke (this is what I was doing when I came up with the idea. It’s actually pretty easy to do, but I bet it is also really funny to watch).

3) Pregnant woman tries to get out of the bathtub. (In a bathing suit, perv. It’s not that kind of show.)

4) Pregnant woman tries to roll over in bed. Or get out of bed.

5) Pregnant woman tries to clip her toenails.

6) Pregnant woman tries to reach forward to get something while seated.

7) Pregnant woman tries to sit in a booth at a restaurant.

Stay tuned for times and channel listings.